Parashat Tetzaveh – Zachor: “Remember What Amalek Did to You”

THE FAITH THAT’S IN THE EMPTY SPACE – THE INNER JOURNEY OF PURIM

A person rises in the morning with such good aspirations.  He does Netilat Yadaim (ritual hand washing) and what he needs to, and suddenly, everything turns upside down.  Either we get angry or someone gets angry at us – neighbors, spouses – in every way, in every form.  However, HaKadosh Baruch Hu made the entire world like this from the beginning.  We only need to remember one thing: to smile, to be happy.  This is what remains for us.  This is what Hashem wants: Us, with our patience, our smiles, our faith (emunah).  What is faith, where is faith?  When we understand?  No!  When we understand, there is no faith.

There is faith in the empty space (Challal HaPenui).  We don’t understand what this is, how this could be, or what happened.  How could it be that the child wasn’t accepted into the Cheder (Torah school for small children).  He wasn’t successful, and there’s no Cheder for him.  We send him from place to place, and I don’t know what to do.  And there’s no income, no apartment – everything, everything was [determined] from the beginning.  Everything was written from the beginning, from the six days of creation.  This is the plan, this is the path.  It’s not some mishaps that happen to me.  Nothing is happening to me that wasn’t meant to happen.  Everything that happens to me – everything, everything, everything – is a path through a minefield that I need to traverse with smiles, with joy, with love.

Do you want to wake up?  Do you want to draw close to Hashem?  Learn to let go.  Learn to judge others favorably.  Learn to look with a good eye, to [greet others] with a shining face.  When does arousal from below meet arousal from above?  This happens by way of the simplest things: by kissing the mezuzah, when saying, “Hashem help me.  I know that this world is ‘Ain Od Milvado’ (there is nothing but Him).  There is nothing here.  I am not asking anything for myself.  If it’s for myself, it’s in order to fulfill, to perform Your will.  True, I’m not always on that level; it is above me.  But I ask of Hashem to give me more comprehension of ‘Ain Od Milvado.’  Because the more a person understands ‘Ain Od Milvado,’ the better it is for him.”

One must constantly check: Am I on this path, walking with Hashem?  Am I on this path of doing Hashem’s will?  So I erred a bit, got a little confused.  Hashem knows it, that I can get confused.  The main thing is that I desire.  The main thing is that I am happy.  The main thing is that I don’t look back.  The main thing is that I continue, that I desire, act, and begin each time anew – a thousand starts anew.  Rabbeinu said that he had at least twenty starts every day.  If from the greatest darkness a person becomes aroused to Hashem, only then does he realize how great Hashem is.  Only if he makes arousal from below can he come close to knowing the greatness of Hashem.

“Oy vay, what’s happening to me?  Oy vay, what tests I’m going through!  Things happen to me all the time, and I’m already tired of it!”  All of this is necessary.  Everything is written and planned.  Everything is a path that exists, the path that our souls have to go through in order to reach our “berurim” (elevation of holy sparks).   We cannot escape this.  HaKadosh Baruch Hu is not waiting for us to bring about the complete “Tikkun” (rectification).  He wants from us our arousal from below to meet him.  We want to be a dwelling for Your glory, a dwelling for the Godly light.  We don’t want our personal desire.

We are embarrassed by our desires.  We feel sorrow for everything that we stumble in, whether it be forbidden material matters or permitted material matters.  Whether it be all types of bad thoughts, whether it be resentment towards others, whether it be depression, which is the greatest enemy.  Everything that happens to me is berurim, and HaKadosh Baruch Hu is not angry at us.  He only wants for us to make an opening, but to be persistent and not to stop.

Parashat Tetzaveh – Purim – “Remember what Amalek did to you.”  Everyone knows that you must strike Amalek, wipe out Amalek, kill them, yet who is Amalek?  Amalek is us.  Each and every person has Amalek within them.  As long as Amalek is within us, nothing will help.  Even if we kill Haman, Hitler will come, Titus will come, Vespasian will come, Sisra will come.  As long as a person has not overcome “Pagam HaBrit” (blemishing the covenant), his ego, then Haman lives, and this Satan will enter another person.  When Haman was killed, that generation was saved, but in every generation, new Hamans arise.

Haman is created from our transgressions.  From every transgression a Haman is created, a terrorist is created.  From every transgression, a Nazi is created.  If a Nazi comes to kill a Jew – I am the one who created that Nazi!  I created that terrorist!  If I repent, the terrorist will be incinerated – erased.  So who is Haman?  Who is Amalek?  Amalek is myself, because as long as I am in this world, as long as I am alive, the redemption will not come until I turn myself around, change myself – nothing else will help.  And this is Purim – “Venahafoch Hu (and it was turned about),” because everyone needs to turn themselves around completely. 

On Purim, the sweetness of the river that comes from Eden is revealed.  On Purim, everyone ascends to the Garden of Eden.  Everything you eat and drink on Purim is the “Yain HaMeshumar” (the preserved wine), the wild ox and the Leviathan.  It is the birds from the Garden of Eden, the Leviathan from the Garden of Eden, the wild ox from the Garden of Eden.  The “Kedushat Yom Tov” says that through the light of Purim, it is revealed who I truly am.  This is revealed specifically on Purim, because then a person comes and sees where he truly is.  He merits to see all his flaws, all his transgressions.  He sees that he is essentially Haman.

The “Kedushat Levi” says that the moment that a person sees his lowliness, where he is holding, he can fall into such despair, and specifically on Purim, he is in terrible danger, because everything becomes revealed to him.  He sees what kind of blemishes he is found in – blemishes of the eyes, how far he is from faith.  Because of this, he can fall into terrible despair.  Therefore, it is written, “Give strong drink to the lost, and wine to the bitter of spirit.”  Therefore, on Purim, one needs to drink wine in order to lift up one’s consciousness in order to sing and rejoice.  Because after a person realizes that “essentially, it is myself who is Haman, I am the biggest criminal,” then he can fall into such depression.

Therefore, our Sages enacted: “A person must become intoxicated on Purim…”  Through this intoxication, “Venahafoch Hu” (and it was turned about).  He will see that, on the contrary: a Haman such as myself, a wicked person such as myself, Baruch Hashem, I come to pray, I heard the Megillah on Purim.  I even went to the mikveh.  I even donned Tefillin.  I merited to such mitzvot!  Then there is no greater “Kiddush Hashem” (sanctification of Hashem’s Name) than this, because the further a person is [from Hashem], the greater is his Kiddush Hashem.  And the joy is greater, because the “cursed is Haman” turns into “blessed is Mordechai.”  It’s specifically someone who knows that he is Haman who can merit to “blessed is Mordechai.”

Every Purim, the illumination of “Yesod Abba” shines for us.  “Yesod Abba” does not shine at any other time.   It is always concealed, and when we read the Megillah, a revelation comes about.  The illumination of Yesod Abba is revealed.  Such tremendous lights comes down that every person can return in true repentance.  Mordechai is Yesod Abba.  He is revealed in all his splendor on Purim, because the illumination of Mordechai – the illumination of Yesod Abba – is miracles and wonders.  This is the emanation of faith that there is nothing besides Him, that there is nothing outside of Hashem.  There could be Achashverosh, there could be Haman.  They can make decrees, but really they don’t exist.  They are just fog.  All their words and actions are just to arouse us to repentance.  Purim is entirely about returning in repentance.  Purim isn’t about going wild, not about breaking things, not about vomiting, not about harming anyone.

It’s really about doing real, real teshuva (repentance), just as was seen with all Breslovers throughout the generations.  On Purim, they would shed rivers and rivers of tears.  They would shed rivers of tears while dancing, and this is the meaning of “a person must become intoxicated on Purim.”  To become intoxicate is not to become drunk.  To become intoxicated means a red countenance, fervor, devekut (complete clinging to Hashem).  Rabbi Natan says that on Purim, we must keep our wits together more than on Yom Kippur, because on Yom Kippur, we sit in synagogue for 24 hours, stuck to our chairs.  However, on Purm, we also have to drink, to rejoice, sing, dance, to cling to Hashem, and in spite of this, to maintain “Yishuv Daat” (a settled mind).

The main purpose of drinking wine is to reach devekut, to “see” Hashem face-to-face.  The [Kitzur] Shulchan Aruch says in 142:6 that a person [should not], God forbid, think that the drinking should come at the expense of not saying Birchat HaMazon, missing Maariv, or not praying with proper intention.  To become “intoxicated” does not mean to become light-headed.  To become intoxicated is only on the condition of not making light of even one blessing, one custom.  The main mitzvah is for a person to be joyous – “Wine makes the heart of man joyous.”  Because wine has the power to make the blood rush.  When a person’s blood rushes, it is easier for him to dance, to be happy.  It’s easier for him to sing.  It makes happiness easier, it elevates his level of happiness.

Purim is gratitude for the entire year, because a person needs to be happy all year round.  Yet, throughout the rest of the year, a person cannot become unusually happy, because he must remain sane, with a settled mind, to be within the boundaries of the intellect.  The intellect limits a person, and the wine nullifies the boundaries of the intellect.  On Purim, we want the opposite!  To burn all the boundaries of the mind – “Wine enters, secrets come out” -- that love of Hashem, fear of Hashem will truly be revealed.  Because if a person is full of love of Hashem, clinging to Hashem throughout the year, then on Purim everything bursts forth, and one merits to dance out of sheer love for Hashem, out of sheer devekut.

Contrarily, if a person is far from devekut and clings to bad “midot” (character traits), in mocking others, Lashon Hara (evil gossip), then on Purim, [his bad midot] burst forth – lightheadedness, mocking others, because on Purim the boundaries of the mind are incinerated and disappear through the wine.  On Purim, we want to burn all the boundaries of the intellect through the wine, so that love of Hashem will truly be revealed, and not other things.  For a person’s love of Hashem burns all year round, and he doesn’t have a time to express it.  When Purim arrives, he can express his love of Hashem for 24 hours.