Prayer to Say Before the Kinnot (Lamentations) - The Gaon and Tzaddik Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a

Prayer to Say Before the Kinnot (Lamentations) Written by the Gaon and Tzaddik Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a (may he live long and good days)
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from Whom no purpose is withheld, merit me to pour out my heart like water on Tisha B'Av (the ninth of Av) during the time of the recitation of the Kinnot (Lamentations) and Megillat Eichah (the Book of Lamentations). Merit me to shed a river of tears and oceans of weeping over the sins of my youth and my transgressions, which caused and continue to cause at every moment and second the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash (the Holy Temple). [I weep] over the luminaries of light that I turned into luminaries of fire, over the endless forbidden sights and touches that ignite the fire of the Sitra Achra (the Other Side/evil forces) and intensify the flames of destruction. Who can dwell for me among the focal points of fire? "Who can dwell for me with the consuming fire?" which I, with my own hands, ignite at every moment and second—a fire in Zion, as it is said: "He has kindled a fire in Zion, and it has consumed its foundations."
Please, Merciful and Gracious One, Almighty from Whom no purpose is withheld, how much longer will I serve You with a "commandment of men learned by rote" (mechanical observance)? For this, all who are pained should grieve, and oceans of tears would not suffice to atone for this. Especially for the death of the Tzaddikim (righteous ones), which is twice as difficult as the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash (the Holy Temple). And especially for the terrible killings of the nine million who were in the Shoah (Holocaust), and all the additional killings from the Shoah until our days, and all the terrible killings that happen every single day—for which I alone am the guilty one. Throughout all my gilgulim (reincarnations), I have only added sin upon transgression; from unintentional sins I moved to intentional ones, and from intentional ones to rebellions. And today, right now, I am already rebelling at every moment and second against the Shechinah (Divine Presence) of Your strength. In my terrible pride, I remove the Shechinah from the earth, causing that which is said: "He has fulfilled His word"—'He tore His purple garment'—meaning that the luminaries of light were turned into luminaries of fire, and the Beis HaMikdash, the Palace of Hashem, was burned. This [Temple] is the malbush (garment) [numerically equal to 378] for the Shechinah, and the Chashmal (spiritual energy) [also 378] was turned into fire, into the three impure klipot (husks): "a stormy wind, a great cloud, and a flashing fire." In me was fulfilled that which is said: "Because this people draws near with their mouth and honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me, and their fear of Me is a commandment of men learned by rote; therefore, behold, I will continue to do a marvelous work among this people, even a marvelous work and a wonder; and the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid." In my many iniquities and transgressions, I caused the withdrawal of wisdom from the wise, which is twice as difficult as the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash. All my deeds were in the dark, and I forgot the verse stated in Tehillim (Psalms 139:12): "Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike," and "If a man hides in secret places, will I not see him?"
Please Hashem, "Keep me, Hashem, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from the violent man, who have purposed to thrust aside my steps. The proud have hidden a snare for me, and cords; they have spread a net by the wayside; they have set traps for me. Selah." Wherever I turn, I see only pitfalls and obstacles, for "the snares of death have confronted me"—terrible desires, forbidden gazes, and blemished thoughts. "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from Your spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your presence?" Please, Merciful and Gracious One, from the day You created Your world, there has never been a creature as lowly as I, nor will there be until the end of generations. Nevertheless, specifically from a lowly creature like me, lower than whom there is none—specifically from me shall His Great Name be magnified and sanctified (Yisgadal v'Yiskadash Shmei Rabba).
Please, Merciful and Gracious One, act now for the sake of Your great and awesome Name that is called upon us. May I merit to shed tears like a river, and may the verse said about Rabbi Akiva be fulfilled in me: "From the weeping of the rivers He binds, and that which is hidden He brings forth to light." Through my weeping over the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash (the Holy Temple), may all my "luminaries of fire" be rectified. May the stream of my tears extinguish the fire of the desires that burn within me day and night, without ceasing and without a second's pause. Through the tears that I shall pour out like rivers and lakes, may I merit to turn all my blood that burns within me into a fire of a holy flame for Hashem Yisbarach (the Blessed Hashem). May all the burning blood be turned into a holy blaze, which is the source of the souls. Through this, the Beis HaMikdash shall be built, for You—through the fire of my desires—ignited the Beis HaMikdash, and through the stream of my weeping, which will turn the luminaries of fire into luminaries of light, You are destined to rebuild it with a fire of a holy flame. Until, in the merit of my terrible weeping and the weeping of all the House of Israel, the Mikdash (Sanctuary) and the Altar shall be built upon their foundation, and there shall be fulfilled in us, in the merit of the terrible weeping: "A continual fire shall be kept burning upon the altar; it shall not go out."
Download as a PDF file Prayer Before the Kinnot 2
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