The Jewish People are Ready for Teshuva

BELOW IS A SUMMARY OF TOPICS FROM THE DAILY SHIUR THAT MOREINU HARAV ELIEZER BERLAND SHLIT”A GAVE ON THE SECOND NIGHT OF ROSH CHODESH KISLEV AFTER MA’ARIV:

Everyone must travel to Yosef HaTzaddik in honor of Rosh Chodesh Kislev.  But it’s impossible to travel to Yosef with a smartphone and Xiaomi.  Now, before the trip, is the moment to break your Xiaomi, to be like Yosef HaTzaddik, who for 22 years fought in the greatest tests without a father, mother, brother, or sister.  Every goat that is brought on Rosh Chodesh is to atone for the selling of Yosef, which is a sin that will never be atoned for.

On Chanukah, we will read the portion of the Tribal Princes, “weighing 130 shekels,” which atones for the 130 years that Adam HaRishon was separated [from his wife], and drops came out of him, which are the demons and al-Qaeda, which are now conquering Syria[1] and who could also reach Israel, and we would need to flee here.  Before the end of the sixth millennium, people will need to flee to the desert.  Only 7,000 people will remain who keep Shabbat.

Even President Bush said that the internet is the end of the world.  Whoever has a Xiaomi will throw stones in the end and will be in jail.  If a boy doesn’t learn Gemara, he’s worthless.  The Gemara says that a girl is worth more than a boy.  After the sin of the Golden Calf, the girls left the skin of the serpent, whereas the boys received the skin of the serpent.  Therefore, the girls are obligated in Kiddush HaLevanah.  The girl is a millions times wiser than the boy is.  The girl is from the Sefirah (Divine emanation) of Chochmah (Wisdom), and the boy is from the Sefirah of Binah (Understanding).  “A woman of valor is the crown of her husband.”  The woman is above the crown, above the husband.  All the girls should learn Mishlei (Proverbs), and whoever hasn’t completed the Twelve Minor Prophets should finish them within two days.  The “Heichal HaBrachah” says that in the future, everyone will see that the girl is better than the boy is.

If there were seminaries, the girls wouldn’t have to go into captivity in the tunnels and caves of Hamas.  They are the most righteous girls, but, tragically, they are in Gaza.  If there were seminaries in the kibbutzim, the girls would be principals and the boys would be Rosh Yeshivas.  The Jewish people are ready for teshuva (repentance).

Now is Rosh Chodesh Kislev.  The lights of Chanukah are already shining.  The “Dvar Be’ito” says that Rosh Chodesh Kislev is like Yom Kippur, because the final seal is on Zot Chanukah, and the lights of Chanukah are already shining from Rosh Chodesh.

May everyone be sealed for a good life and break the Xiaomi’s, lengthen their dresses, and may we merit to a complete redemptions, speedily in our days, Amen!

[1] On December 7th (several days after this shiur), rebel Islamist groups overthrew the Assad regime and took over Syria.  Israel responded by fortifying the Israeli-Syrian border.