Who Was the First to Light Chanukah Candles?

BELOW IS A SUMMARY OF TOPICS FROM THE DAILY SHIUR OF MOREINU HARAV ELIEZER BERLAND SHLIT”A, GIVEN ON TUESDAY, 7 MARCHESHVAN 5786, PARASHAT LECH-LECHA, AFTER MAARIV:

1. “Someone moved the sun,” so chatzot is in another two hours. There are only two hours to sleep.  By the first night of Chanukah, [the time] will go back up.
2. Adam HaRishon observed Chanukah twice. He fasted from 1 Tishrei until the middle of Chanukah on 1 Tevet, because, according to Rabbi Eliezer, he saw that the time of sun was decreasing and thought that the world was ending.
3. Julius Caesar arranged the secular calendar but erred by 11 minutes per year. After 1,600 years, they realized that they had an error of 12 days, so they moved it 12 days.  Therefore, there is “nittel katan” on December 24th and “nittel gadol” on January 6th.[1]
4. The Tzaddikim see the light all at once and contract it for the weak. According to Beit Shamai, on the first day of Chanukah, we receive all the light.  Therefore, on the first day, eight candles are lit.  This is the secret of “av or ach – father or brother” – what is the order of lighting.  Whether like Beit Hillel, who on the first day light one and then two in order, or like Beit Shamai who light eight on the first day.
5. It is written that David is in the middle between Avraham and Yaakov on both sides, and had Yitzchak also been there, he would have conquered the entire world.
6. Midrash Rabbah – Tehilim: It is written, “Who will bring me to the besieged (matzor) city, who will lead me to Edom.” And another time, it is written “fortified (mivtzar) city.”  David said, “Let me conquer Rome.”  Hashem said to him, “It is impossible; otherwise, they will commit sins and there would be nothing left to destroy.”
7. Every day, we go at seven to the municipality with three large signs that say, “We want a synagogue.” Say the Tikkun HaKlali and P’rakim Nivcharim.
8. One must learn eight daf of Gemara every day. Everyone would hide games under the table; I would hide a Gemara under the table.
9. Einstein would learn everything during break, so he would misbehave. In the end, they sent him to Switzerland and said he had a lung ailment.
10. Everyone needs to know the distances of the sun and moon. The sun is 148 thousand kilometers –gematria “Nachman.”  The moon comes closer to us now during the winter by around 4,000 kilometers.
11. Therefore, Adam HaRishon observed Chanukah twice, until Enosh came and turned this into a holiday where they light candles – the gentiles made out of it the holiday “Saturnalia.”

[1] Referring to the nights of X-mas eve both on the traditional date and Eastern Orthodox date (according to the Julian calendar), respectively.  Called “Nittel Nacht,” Jews would traditionally not study Torah this night for a variety of reasons.