How to Overcome Anger and Sadness and Strengthen in Joy

HaRav Ofer Erez shlit"a in a special lesson delivered to the Shuvu Banim Miami Kollel. HaRav Ofer explains how the trials of the Patriarchs are a powerful lesson for us on how to emerge from the trait of anger and sadness, and to merit great faith and the joy of life.

These are his holy words:

"In Likutey Halachot, Reb Noson writes that all the work of self-sacrifice of Abraham and the other Patriarchs was not in the category of a trial for them, because for the Patriarchs, it was a simple matter to sacrifice their soul for Hashem."

"The Midrash asks, if so, what were the trials of our Patriarch Abraham? After all, it is known that he was tested with ten trials."

"Reb Noson answers in Likutey Halachot that these were completely different trials; Hashem places the Patriarchs in situations that they do not understand. They do not understand the conduct of Hashem, and there they are tested as to whether they accept the conduct of Hashem or reject it."

"In Parshat Lech Lecha, Hashem says to Abraham, 'Go for yourself from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you' (Genesis 12:1). Abraham and Sarah were great leaders in Charan, 'and the souls they made in Charan' (ibid. 5), and suddenly Hashem asks them to leave everything at age 75 (Abraham) and go on a new path - this was self-sacrifice for Abraham."

"Afterwards, in the Land of Israel, Hashem reveals Himself several times to Abraham and promises that He will give the land to his offspring... Our Patriarch Abraham wanders the land and performs many tikkunim, and after three or four months, there is a famine in the land. Abraham is forced to go down to Egypt, and for the entire half-year that Sarah was with Pharaoh (according to the opinion of the Chatam Sofer who brings the words of the Rambam), Abraham does not raise any complaint against Hashem."

"And this is his trial, because if our Patriarch Abraham had felt even a little bit of resentment against the conduct of Hashem, he would not have passed this trial. Reb Noson says that the trials of the Patriarchs are that Hashem shows them a huge contradiction in His conduct, and they, for their part, must nullify themselves to His conduct completely - there is no question, because everything Hashem does is for the good."

"Every Jew knows that everything Hashem does is for the good; after all, Rabbi Akiva said this in the Gemara (Berachot 60b), 'Everything the Merciful One does, He does for the good.' But one must know that a person is composed of a mind (thoughts) and a heart (emotions), and the heart does not always agree with the arguments of the mind."

"All our lives we work to bring the intellectual knowledge that everything Hashem does is for the good into the heart."

"Rav Dessler says in 'Michtav MeEliyahu' that as long as a person is angry or sad, it points to the gap they have between the knowledge of the mind and the feeling of the heart. Because someone who is at 100% faith is not angry and not sad; he knows that everything Hashem does is for the good, so what is there to be angry about regarding the good of Hashem?"

"Because in the depths, any anger at something in the world is actually anger at Hashem - one does not agree with His conduct. Rav Dessler says that we are ashamed to come directly to Hashem and blame Him if something does not work out for us; instead, we blame someone in this world: the wife, the friends, the children at home, the boss at work..."

"In order to strengthen oneself in the feeling of the heart that everything Hashem does is for the good, one needs, during the trials we go through, to say to ourselves: 'It is truly unpleasant, the situation I am in is difficult for me, but I am strengthening myself in the knowledge that even this - everything is for the good.'"

"The effort to strengthen oneself in the knowledge that everything Hashem does is for the good strengthens this trait within us."